A few months ago, I had developed an intrinsic hatred towards mankind. Anytime I saw a human on the street, my mind directly assumed the worst. Anger prevented me from seeing any good in those around me - only their potential for hurt and wrong doing.
During this particularly difficult juncture in my life, I was begging and praying everyday for a random act of human kindness to encourage me to erase my negativity, and start anew. The irony is, there were plenty of instances of this kindness to be found — but I just couldn’t bring myself to appreciate them.
These days, I see something much different when I look into faces of those around me. I no longer feel scorn, anger, or bitterness - I feel pity. Pity in the most tender way possible. I feel shame for every one of us whose youth will one day be dimmed by the sands of time. The inevitability that awaits us all. How we will all shrivel up and vanish from this earth alone and onto infinity. How the denial of these harsh realities lead us astray from the actual things that matter the most. How our ingratitude for life is exercised on a daily basis with the tapping and scrolling of our pocket gadgets.
On the surface, all of this sounds awfully nihilistic and contemptuous - but my intention is the opposite. It’s the empathy for this blindness - for the fragility and fleeting of time - that enables me to lighten up and smile to everyone around me these days. Because once everything is said and done, we’re all just bags of skin containing meat, bones, and a brain. What a joke. But somehow, despite the slow decaying of our pathetic bodies, we all have one thing in common - a desire to be happy. Even the worst, or the best of us.
(Originally published March 16th, 2018)