choke choke choke

As perplexing as life can be, it also offers moments in which everything - makes sudden sense. During these epiphanies, we see things as they actually are - without prejudice, or attachment. Our outlook becomes embedded in the present moment - as opposed to everything that came before. You find yourself smiling with the same silent confidence as Buddha would.

Feels good doesn’t it? 

In these moments - it’s easy to assume that the universal truth is here to stay with us for good. That we’re blessed with a knowledge that once attained, won’t ever go away. But unfortunately - enlightenment - is an elusive motherfucker.

Personally, I can’t think of anything greater than humor to help serve as the sustaining force to this magic - the magic of enlightenment. Once you realize that laughter - is the ultimate method to deflecting hardship, you become impervious to any force that may negatively impact your state of mind. For everything now - is a joke. And once this switch is turned on, it’s nearly impossible to turn it back off. And it’s wonderful.

So while enlightenment doesn’t stick around forever, it’s protective shield -humor - is the very element that enables it to roam freely, without alarm - like a unicorn.

It’s scary to admit how stiff and serious I’ve been my whole life. It wasn’t until this past year that I’ve finally learned how to loosen up - an ability that has translated spectacularly on the recent evolution of mürmur. Not to brag *ahem ahem*.

For the first time, I feel like the person that I always should have been, but never was. 

But my sense of humor didn’t arrive over night. There were other faucets that needed to be turned on first. And yes, calling oneself “funny” is a strange thing to admit, I agree. But there is a brainless  swagger to my demeanor - that I’ve lacked for so long. A silliness that’s both idiotic and liberating at the same time. I feel like a clown with a degree in philosophy. And I’m damn proud of it. 

It’s true that I still I get beaten sometimes, but I’m much better at picking myself up when I remember what a joke everything is. The fact that we’re breathing. It’s a joke. The myriad of consequences that had to occur to serve as the precursor to our arrival on this galaxy. How did that happen? It’s a joke, that’s how. An improbability of such such high extreme - you just have to laugh. It’s all a joke. And the fact that we imbue so much insignificant and petty shit with time, sweat, and tears, is a testament to how laughably stupid and tragicomic everything is.

Both life and death. It’s all a joke. 

So come on man, let’s have a smoke.

And if you can’t handle the toke

You’re gonna cough, and choke choke choke.

(Originally Published 7/22/18)