Hey mürmur. Long time no talk. I haven’t done one of these in awhile - my apologies for being absent. A lot has come up this month. New job, new girlfriend. And as you may have heard - I’m switching apartments. Yes. The jig is up. The landlord found out about the show and I’m forced to relocate - AGAIN.
This isn’t saddening news - in fact, it’s quite the opposite. I feel a huge relief. From day one of moving into this apartment, I never felt that it would ever become the permanent home of mürmur. I always viewed as somewhat of a transient space - a pitstop along the journey. So, in all honesty, It’s a blessing in disguise that my landlord isn’t renewing my lease.
With that being said, I’m also extremely grateful for the time spent in this apartment. This space served as my - “cocoon”. The place where I transformed from a caterpillar, to a butterfly. A haven for growth, and reflection. And yeah, there were a lot of tears shed - but eventually, something funny happens - you can’t even remember why you felt so sad in the first place. Maybe moving out of the living room closet, to a proper bedroom facilitated the shift in my mood change. But in all honesty, for how much shit my friends gave me for living inside of a closet, I actually didn’t mind it so much.
There is a lot to be said about how I’m handling this eviction, in comparison to the previous. For those of you who are listening, you can infer my positive attitude about this ordeal. Last year, that wasn’t so much the case. I was pretty damn bitter. But now, I’m celebrating. I’m getting kicked out of the place I call home - Fuck yeah! Bring it on! I can insert a bunch of cliches about how “time heals all wounds”, or “when one door closes, another opens” but in all honesty - all of those expressions pale in comparison to actually having your face smeared in the mud, and then YOU finding the strength to lifting your head up…
When bad things happen, use it as a challenge to turn it into something greater. Find a way to filter the negative, and extract all of it’s juices - to turn it into something fresh, and positive. A lot of times, the shift from bad to good - is way more powerful than if everything were to just run smoothly.
(Originally Published 10/18/18)